This week Nicole shares with us the highs, the lows and the fact that sometimes you just have to believe that you are enough.
Who was Nicole before she became a Mum?
You’re a Mum to six.
Three nephews, one niece and two biological children.
How old are they and what is one thing you adore about each of them?
I ask all my guests this, what is one thing about being a Mum that drives you bonkers?
For people reading this who are not familiar with your story, can you share how you came to be the carer for your niece and nephews?
Do you do anything in particular to keep the memory of the children's parent's alive?
Having them maintain their identity is the upmost important thing to us. We try and normalise the situation as best we can. Always being truthful and open with the kids.
Do you ever feel guilty for your biological children and the fact they have to “share” you?
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What would you like the women who are reading this to know about kinship carers?
What impact has this had on your relationship? Mental Health?
Your biological children have had their own health issues.
Your son was born with a cleft palate and your daughter has a rare microdeletion.
To the Mum who is overwhelmed that also has multiple children with complex needs, what are two things that help you function/deal with their complexities?
At this point we’d also taken on a 5th child unexpectedly. Then I had Scarlett and it was a different kettle of fish. Scarlett was born with a rare micro deletion and had a cluster of seizes when she was six months old, her needs are very complex and it becomes overwhelming sometimes.
I try to remember that I’m doing the best I can, especially on those days when I fall to my knees, cry and feel like a shit mum. I try to remember I put so much pressure on myself because I do care and really… I am actually a good mum and doing my best.
Raising your own babies is hard raising someone else’s is even harder.
To the Mum in a similar situation, I would say that you’re incredible, strong and amazing. We all have our crappy days it’s ok to cry, vent and ask for help. You are not a failure because you need a hand now and then. Xx