Zoe's Story - Maintaining a positive mindset after trauma

Zoe's Story - Maintaining a positive mindset after trauma

When Zoe first sent me her responses to my questions I was disappointed that I didn’t ask more. It is abundantly clear that she is a woman of positivity, strength and has a real passion for learning and helping those who struggle with the “typical” modes of delivery in what some could argue is a very outdated education system. This article is short, sweet and to the point. Enjoy x

How old is your son and what is something that you adore about him?

Gareth is about to turn 22. I love his sense of fun and work ethic.

What is one thing about being a Mum that drives you bonkers?

Learning to negotiate this other personality without crushing it. When Gareth was little his mischievousness. When he was 2 he would do things like take his trousers and undies off and run around showing his bare bum! I would just pick them up and put them in my bag and leave him as he was. Much to the disgust of people around. He soon realised that I was not going to react and came and asked for his trouser and undies back.

You have experienced the loss of two babies; one during your first trimester and the other during your second.
Can you share how you were able to move forward after this?

Wow. That’s a good question. Given my early experience of being molested as a child I think I have always had a warrior spirit. To not let these things destroy me and not to become a victim. I also had great people around me. My parents were a wonderful emotional and empathetic support. That doesn’t mean I didn’t grieve and I still have moments. At that time in my life I was a performer and singer. Looking back now I think I just threw myself into my work. A few years after I got some professional help. This really helped as I felt heard and reinforced that everything I was feeling was normal and acceptable.

Your son was born 10 weeks early.
To the Mum who may be experiencing a similar situation right now, what are three things you found that helped you the most during those first few weeks?

1. Be kind to yourself – no one is to blame.

2. Your partner (the father) can’t be everything you need emotionally etc. so find someone you can talk to.

3. There may not be a connection with your child for a while. Don’t worry it will come. When I first saw my son I said “Is that it?” This was because I hadn’t been able to hold him and he was in a humidity crib so bonding was hard.

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You have overcome A LOT in your life.
Trauma in your childhood, pregnancy loss, premature birth, overcoming cancer and still live with chronic pain on a daily basis. How do you keep moving forward as well as maintaining such a positive attitude?

It is non-negotiable for me. My life and how I choose to live it is up to me. This was the hardest lesson I’ve ever had to learn. I like living. I have been through everything I have to lead me to what I do now. Which is help children beat their demons and live a happier, healthier life. I have used and still use many therapies to keep me “together”.

I have a morning routine that I do every day without fail. Each morning I set myself up to have a positive and happy day. I still have days that I call “sloth”days were I stay in my jarmies and do very little. I have learned to allow myself  these times out and know that they are all part of the process of living.

We each tell ourselves stories, I can’t do that because….. or I’m not good enough, or I’m not clever enough. These stories stop us from becoming who we are meant to be. You don’t have to be productive all the time. Sometimes we just need to Be instead of do, do ,do.

I have studied extensively many personal development courses and how the brain works. A few years ago I studied and became qualified in Creatrix. ® Creatrix® is an adventurous virtual reality process that’s done with your eyes closed, that causes you to unlearn your issues at the very root until they drop away, no longer needed, replaced with much higher emotional and mental
intelligence. This process is the reason I am living my life positively and with purpose. This process is based on the way the female brain works. It helps to rewire our thoughts, reject the head talk and emotional baggage we are carrying around.

You have gone on to create your business Learning Boosters as a result of your own experience growing up with learning challenges.
Can you tell us about this?

My business Learning Boosters is the culmination of my life and learning. As a child I was a slow learner. This led me to believe that I was dumb.

However as a young adult I learned this was untrue. A tutor I had took me under his wing and showed me how to study. This simple kindness led me to become an empowered and resilient learner. My wish is to empower children to be more resilient and persevere with their learning.

Learning Boosters provides a tailored and flexible learning environment to help children thrive through primary school and high school. With every learning difficulty there is a negative emotion attached which causes the child to become frustrated, overwhelmed and stressed about going
to school.

This is where I can help. Because I’ve been there too. I know we all learn in different ways and at different paces. On my website I offer for learning resources, online tutoring or face to face, a
half hour free phone consult. Go to my website and fill out the work with me page and chose your time and we can get together to chat about your child’s learning issues.

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